she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
