I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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