Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
