so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
