I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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