Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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