How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
a search helicopter?!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize