omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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