My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I know her cup size but not her name....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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