fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I need moral support for this bender
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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