My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
