Plan B is the new Plan A
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
