A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
