We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
