Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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