what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
