I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize