the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
