Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
