Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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