I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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