I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
