And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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