I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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