I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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