D3 body, D1 cock
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
