But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
