saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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