i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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