i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
