do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is it penis luge time yet?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
