I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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