Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
