none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
