im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
