She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
