Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Randomize
