Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize