Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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