i was born a porn star she said
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
