i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
