Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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