i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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