dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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