I cannot find my penis.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
