i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
