okay pat passed out under dana's car
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
