Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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