He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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