my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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