okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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