Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
