What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize