WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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