we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
