Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
