I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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