was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
