I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
