why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize