My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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